Report

IBO Reporter: Spot51

|This really was all about Farewell Goodison and not the football, and they were up for it and, it seemed, we were not. We fell back in front of our box and invited Everton to attack. They took 4 minutes to win their first corner, then quickly their first two shots, Mykolenko (wide), then Beto (saved).

It was 3rd time lucky for the Toffees. After failing to stop Mykolenko and McNeil, one of ours knocked the ball to Ndiaye, who waltzed into our box and hit it low past Rammy. 1-0. So the low-block didn't work this time. What next?

Well, nothing really: Rusk made no changes till 60m by which time we were two down and made no obvious tactical changes to suggest we were going to compete. On 15 minutes, it looked like Coleman was hurt, and after a couple of minutes, he came off, replaced by old Ashley Young. Sad end to a great career, but at least the captain got a rousing send-off from the Evertonians.

The game continued at walking pace as Everton’s shot count rose and ours remained at zero. Saints were saved from a dicking by Beto’s inability to time his runs. Twice he netted only to see the lino’s flag go up to save our embarrassment.

Amazingly, we remained just one goal adrift till the second minute of added time. McNeil then played a gentle pass through our statuesque defence and Ndiaye ran onto it, sat Rammy on his bum and walked it into the net. 2-0 and (thank feck) half time.

Early in the second half, we played some decent passing football. Russ would have loved it, but it was half a pitch away from Everton’s goal. The action remained mostly in our half, and Everton’s stats (apart from goals scored) continued to rise.

If this were a boxing match, Saints would already have been disqualified for not laying a glove on the opponent, but, for some reason, football seems OK with this. I guess the Home fans had other priorities and our long-suffering Away Crew were just thankful this was the last away match of a piss poor season.

On 52m, the 2nd of consecutive corners arrived in our box. The ball was cleared, but young Wood lay prone on the ground. There was a delay as our physios went through the concussion protocols, and eventually the player was able to continue.

Everton continued to make chances, most missing, but Garner brought a save from Rammy. On 60m, the cavalry rode over the hill and off went Sulemana, Wood and Aribo, replaced by Stewart, Archer and Smallbone. From 5-5-0 to 4-4-2: right call, best part of an hour too late!

62m into the game, Pickford was required to awaken, fold up his hammock and get down smartly to turn a Stewart shot round the post. At last, a football match had broken out! Moyes immediately sent some subs out to warm up.

Following not one but two corners, Matty F took a shy at goal but this one flew wide. Off went McNeil and Doucoure, replaced by Harrison and former Scummer, Charley Alcaraz. The stadium announcer revealed 39,201 souls had been present at one of the dullest games in the long history of Goodison Park.

We withdrew the anonymous Dibling, sending on young Robinson to run around a bit before a second Everton defender, this time Branthwaite, limped off, replaced by (the out-of-contract HCDAJFU) Keane. The lesser-spotted Dominic Calvert-Lewin was also sent on with matchwinner Ndiaye making way.

The game remained pretty even now, and maybe Rusk had regrets about keeping his powder dry for way too long. We were also now bossing possession in the 2nd half.

There had been little to concern Mr Oliver until Downes’ petulant shove on Beto (80m) saw him booked.

The next wounded defender was THB, who had to be replaced. On came our January signing from Valenciennes, 18-year-old Kayi Sanda, making his debut. He looked assured and awash with the confidence of youth.

English keepers, like Aaron Ramsdale, must hate Jordan Pickford. He is not a massive personality or flashy between the sticks, but routinely keeps out shots on goal. Having already thwarted Stewart, on 82 minutes, Robinson got to the line and cut the ball back. Archer met it, close range, near post, and Pickford somehow got in the way. The ball fell to Will, who lashed it into the side netting.

It would have been a travesty if we’d come away with a 2-2 draw, but only England’s number one had prevented it. Saints continued to boss the game as the clock ran down and Will picked out Stewart with a curled cross, but the Scot sent his header too high.

Everton were getting a bit short-tempered chasing the ball, and Garner eventually lost his rag and grabbed a handful of Fernandes' shirt as the Portuguese went by him. He saw the game's other yellow card. The 4th Official indicated just 4 more minutes at the oldest stadium in England.

Ally McCoist made the easiest of choices for TNT’s Man of the Match: Ndiaye had scored the last TWO goals at Goodison. Saints continued to dominate in added time. Nothing came of the corner conceded by Keane, but an Everton defender did block the last strike on goal: Stewart’s shot from Archer’s pass. Shame these guys didn’t get more time, but that was it. Everton got an easyish win before the big farewell party kicked off.

Man Of The Match

That was such a disappointing game. We’ve been relegated for weeks, we’ve got Derby’s 2007 monkey off our backs, so why not treat Everton’s big day with some respect and give them a game? Piss poor till the strikers came on and then “what might have been”. Don’t imagine Everton fans cared much, but those few brave souls in the Away section deserved way better. I expect Rusk’s P45 will arrive quite soon.

We were shite for an hour then bossed the game when a proper XI were on the pitch. I have little choice but to make one of the subs my MoM, and of those, the most effective was the old, wounded, Loch Ness Drogba himself.

Take a bow, ROSS STEWART.