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Match Report

Reporter: Spot51

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Intro

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Back during the Summer Window, Will Still took his Saints (on 4 points) to Liam Manning’s Canaries (on 3) in the Carabao Cup and came away with a 3-0 victory. Just 15 weeks on, Tonda Eckert takes his side (now on 30 points) to Philippe Clement’s Norwich (23rd with 14 points) and must expect a similar result.

Our team that night was set up 5-2-3 but the personnel were old school. It was the following weekend that Azaz, Fellows, Jander and Scienza arrived and, since an Engineer replaced the oily rag, our engine has begun running very smoothly.

Both sides are waiting on key men’s fitness issues, Sargent for them and Tom’s groin for us. The Ref is James Bell who did our wins v Wrexham and QPR so could be a lucky omen.

Sargent’s concussion and Tom’s groin didn’t heal in time. Wee Man therefore comes in wide right as Cap’n Jack swaps back in for Big Josh. More significantly only Fraser, Wood, Manning & Downes started the August game and just Darling, McConville and Schwartau for them. Nothing stays the same in the EFL!

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Match Report

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Crikey! What a disappointment.

It started so promisingly. Leo is hacked down, takes the free kick himself, rattles their crossbar - but no - it all went downhill from there.

Downes brought the first save from Kovacevic, but the next was from Baz up our end, fielding Forson’s shot. From then on, it went end to end, and as we created but failed to take opportunities, Pratface* settled into the game.

Indeed, by the midpoint of the half it was pretty much all Norwich as we collapsed into the dreaded 5-4-1 that got Will sacked. Suddenly, our brightest star, Leo, was away running at them. Stupidly, Darling waited till he was in their box before bringing him down. Penalty Saints: a lifeline.

Keepers never save good penalties. They don’t save half of shit penalties either, as they dive the wrong way. Kovacevic got lucky. He went the right way, and AA’s penalty was shit. Still 0-0 FFS!

We did create a bit more from then on, but never got close to dominating the half like we often do. It stayed 0-0 till half-time.

Neither side made personnel changes, but they returned as Arsenal and we as bloody Pompey. We hardly got a kick before Wright’s cross was turned in by Makamba from close range as our defence stood around like rubberneckers. Piss poor - 1-0 Norwich.

Apart from the odd foray into their half (usually involving Leo), the goal lifted the Canaries, who were looking for a second. Their keeper could have taken a quick nap whilst Baz was under fire up the other end, although only one effort, from Mattsson, needed saving.

We finally mounted an attack involving Fraser down our right, and McConville conceded a corner. Norwich made a pig’s ear of clearing it, and a ball going more up than away came to Ryan Manning in the inside right position.

Summoning his inner Lamine Yamal, he brought the dropping ball under control, looked up to get his bearings, and then fired past the diving keeper into the far corner. 1-1 yet we’d been poor. Manners doesn’t score often, but when he does, they are pretty damn good!

All square and now with a chance to take the 3 points, but somehow we seemed reluctant to go for the win. Azaz did play in AA, but Kovascevic foiled him again. Then it was Norwich applying the pressure, and THB gave away a corner.

Darling met Wright’s cross, but his header was knocked away. When it was played back in, our defenders stood watching again as Makamba went one-on-one with Baz. The keeper looked favourite till the cheating twat lifted it over the line with his left hand.

A number of our guys appealed for handball, but the bloody officials hadn’t seen it. In our VAR-free world, the goal stood. Tonda took off Jander and Wee Man, sending on Wellington and Bragg before Norwich countered with Marcondes and Cordoba for Wright and Chrisene.

I expected us to step up a gear, but the game just carried on at the same dreary pace. I almost felt that the past year had never happened, and I was still watching Russ’s team passing the ball about in our final third with no sign of wanting to get forward. If I were pissed off, how must our wonderful away fans have felt after going all that way and seeing us not trying?

We did a bit more during the final quarter, but the required intensity was still missing. It was still moot as to who might score the next goal despite them not needing one.

More subs arrived, including Ori for the booked (again) Downes, but the game still limped towards its ending. Leo was still on in the 89th minute when Fisher was booked for fouling him. In added time, Norwich were intent on wasting time, and play became stop/start as more subs arrived. The final action saw Ori booked for upending Cordoba rather han chase him down their left wing.

The final whistle saw Norwich delighted with a rare win. It was a poor game, though, and it now seems we cannot win without either Tom or Leo. Please let them both be fit for Coventry next week. They score approx 2.5 goals per game in this league and, given our defence is worse than most, we’ll need to score 4 or 5 to get anything from that.

• For those who’ve never heard Norwich referred to as Pratface: it was a name given to them by my brother Drew at Sandown Grammar in the 60s. They had a young History teacher with a florid moustache who they named Pratface. I was never taught by him, so I cannot remember his name. I was, however, aware of the scribbled cartoons of the poor bastard stuck up on noticeboards with the word ”BIFF” across his moustache and captioned “PRATFACE”. One day, he let slip he was a Norwich fan, and the whole City, its football club and even Coleman’s Mustard immediately became Pratface too.

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Man Of The Match

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|We were not at the races against a poor side. Leo was probably the man most likely to do something exciting, and Manners actually scored a good goal, yet the team, for some reason, just did not function as well as they can.

The only player I was not disappointed with, though, was Baz, who was left unprotected for both their real goal and the dodgy one. He did everything else required effectively, so arise Gavin Bazunu.

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